"Healing, In and Out..."

I am healing well...on the outside. If you asked me, that is all anyone could ask of me. Then again, I realize more now than ever that it is not all about me. There is much suffering and much heartache here on the plains now. Many of lost, but that doesn't mean that they will dig a hole in the ground and bury themselves. They cannot. They will not. Not if they are Tuchuk!

Tarran came to me with that rousing speech, or something like it this morning and as musch as I still hurt and as much as I still hated him for it, I knew that he was right. Fucking prick! Still on a high because that little monster of his was born. It was a healthy boy with lungs worthy of a hunter maybe even a singer. I will admit that the child has kept me up on more than two occasions, but getting the opportunity to hold that small bundle in my arms was worth the few sleepless ahns.

"You are a father, Tasco."

"I am just good with children, Noni."

"All the more reason for you to have children."

"Not now, Noni. Not now."

Noni smiled softly and came forward enough to look over my shoulder and then touched the bandaging on my bicep.

"Your wound is healing, yes?"

The smile child began to slowly fall asleep and I was actually amazed at how hard the young boy struggled to keep his eyes open for as long as he did before succumbing to the sleep he most assuredly had cried himself into.

"Do you really think it is my time, Noni?"

She laughed softly and took the child from my arms. I heard it coo, and I heard a shift of just behind my shoulder meaning that Noni and I were not alone. Perhaps it was time for a feeding...then again, perhaps she too just wanted to come and check on her. I assumed that it was a motherly instinct that I couldn't ever truly understand. Sometimes I wondered if I ever really wanted to understand it.

Father had said once upon a time that it made him weaker, as a man. I don't know how true that was, for he has also said only a strong man can take unto his shoulders a family. I miss my father so much now. I fear I am going to cry again, but Noni is there. As is Tarran's woman, who despite her best efforts is trying to remain silent.

"Eloia, you do not always have to tip toe around me."

I laughed softly.

"Your child needs you more than he needs me. Trust and believe I might only do more damage than good."

She stepped in. She was a demure woman from whom I had only seen a few true moments of spit fire and flame. Those were always times worth watching so I knew that there was more to her that she put out there. I was pleased for this though, because my brother didn't need a woman who would allow him to push her over. Eloia was not that sort of woman. I prayed everyday that she was not.

"Tasco, you would do well to start a family. I think it would suit you."

I scoffed and then looked back at Noni.

"You put her up to this, didn't you?"

Eloia swept over toward the small makeshift crib to where her baby lay, checking to make sure the infant was sleeping well and soundly before turning to face me.

"I don't need to be put up to anything. Just watching you with Second Son just as I watched you with First Son. I have always said you would make a fine father...Tarran agrees."

"Tarran? He what?"

She nodded.

"You should talk to him Tasco. Despite the tone he takes with you he believes you are capable. He is your brother...and treats you the way he does because of the name you carry. It is your responsibility to pass that name along you realize?"

"He will, Eloia. In his own time."

"Thank you...Noni. In my own time."

They both laughed, quietly, so not to wake the child. Noni vanished to her own bed while Eiola remained behind.

"By the way...there was a young woman who came by. She left you stew and bread. She seemed to be very interested in how you were doing. Perhaps you should check on her. Let her know how you are. I am sure she'll want to know?"

I thought I had an idea of who it might have been, though, I still wasn't sure. So I thanked her for the information and asked about where the stew might have been. Upon finding that Tarran had eaten it in a rush to head out for patrols I smirked and laid back upon my bed to think. Had it been Yamka? Or had it been Asria? I did not know how Asria would know that I was here and I know that I had spoken to Yamka in my hurry at the stream. I would see them both. Either way, someone was reaching out and I thought finally...It was my turn to reach out aswell. I owed it to myself. I owed it to my family. More importantly, I owed it to my tribe.

I am healing...on the inside aswell.

"Oh and Tasco..." I heard the words before I heard and felt the sudden thump and growl buried so close to my face. It was Runt! He had survived, and I immediately felt a certain frustration for having not thought of him sooner.

"They found him under your wagons...he stayed there...the whole time. It was a fight to get him out. It probably saved his life."

I laughed and held up the small sleen to get a good look at him. His fur was slightly singled and mottled and he looked hungry, but his eyes were still bright and he was excited to be close to me.

"Thank you, Eloia. You are a good woman to my brother."

"I know, Tasco. Sleep tonight. We're putting you out tomorrow."

I laughed. She did not. Part of me wasn't surprised. I had my own wagons to and finally...I was ready to leave and face the hardships that faced my people head on.