Fucking Away Frustration

I didn't know her name. I didn't ask. I didn't have to ask. She was a slave of the harigga. All my frustration. All my confusion. All my anger. All my sadness. The raw emotions. I poured them into her and fucked her until I felt empty inside, numb even. When we finished I slept. I slept restfully for the first time in several hands, without the plague of nightmares and constant "ponderings" the likes of which I would have never entertained before now.

When I awoke, I was surprised to find that she was still there. Still sleeping as soundly as she had been when I had fallen asleep with the occasional whimper or weary moan when she shifted her low limbs against the soft texture of my furs. I could not help but think that not long ago Yamka had slept there. I found myself wondering what she looked like when she slept without the fog of a head injury.

Did she snore?

Was she a fitful sleeper?

Did she move at all?

And Asria...what of Asria?

I couldn't imagine her snoring. Then again, I couldn't imagine...

FUCK!

I rolled over, turning my back on her to stare into the darkness of the wagon corner. It was the easiest thing to focus on for the first few minutes, but soon enough even the quiet in the wagon was not enough to calm the rapidly spinning wheels within my mind. I dressed and grabbed the skin of wine that I had won from a Hunter not too many nights past. I still cannot fathom why people doubt my ability in the saddle of a kaiila. I am, for lack of a better term, a trick rider. Sometimes I am more at home there than I am on my own two feet.

As I stepped outside of my wagon I recalled the tasks that I had been commanded to perform and scolded myself thoroughly for becoming so engulfed in my own emotions that I had forgotten to put my tribe first. I wondered what the warrior who had earned his scar must have been thinking. More importantly I had set my tribe back further than it should have been in organizing the herd for slaughter. My tribe. I have failed my tribe.

I was dismayed. I was furious. I was....lost.

Forgetting my own inner turmoil I returned to my wagon. Upon laying the wine skin aside I laid down in the furs next to the slave who, I assume sensed my proximity and rolled over. She yawned and slowly opened her weary eyes to stare at me for a time, her grin hidden as she pressed her face deeper into the furs.

"Is something wrong, Master?"

"No, slave." I said to her sharply.

I did not let her fall back into sleep. Instead, I pulled her into me and raped her without remorse or mercy. I am sure I marked her. I am sure I marked her thoroughly, but like a good slave she was gone come morning leaving only the smell in my furs.

It was not the same I know. But it was all I had...for now.

The question is...Do I need more?